Ugh. This has been a really long week. I kept thinking it was Friday all day, but no!
I’ve been struggling to stay under 2200- 2400 calories as I move down weight wise, they decrease my calories in myfitnesspal. That may seem like a lot to some people, but from somebody who was used to eating upwards of 3000-who knows per day, it’s an adjustment to get down to that for an extended period of time. So, I did some adjusting in myfitnesspal. I changed myself from lightly active to active. I believe this to be true. I spend about 7-9 hours in the gym working out each week and on my off days I am very active with Henry outside and inside. I rarely go a day that I don’t get 10,000 steps. So, by doing that, it upped my calories to a much more doable calorie range for me right now. I know eventually I will have to cut down but for now, I know that seems much more accurate/doable. And it is much less likely that I will binge.
Speaking of that…
135 days in a row! That means I’ve been binge free for about 135 days. I haven’t checked my calendar that I have the countdown, well count up, in. But that sounds about right. It doesn’t mean I’ve been perfect, or that I haven’t had free for all days. It means I haven’t had a binge, a bout of uncontrollable emotional eating followed by self loathing.
I have been darn close. Real darn close.
Tonight is a perfect example of a night I would binge. Henry is asleep early and my husband is out for the evening. But, instead I am going to have my tea and watch my DVR and play Mahjong on my laptop. That’s my relaxation at the end of a long day!
Henry and I took a walk today and he held my hand almost the whole time.
I melt.
I truly savor these moments and use them as a time to say a prayer of Thanksgiving to God for giving me this blessing. I am always and forever grateful for Henry, and I am even grateful for the struggle it took to get there because I do not take one single moment for granted. (Even when he is mad at me and starts hitting me repeatedly with the meanest crinkle face!)
Okay. I am off to start my relaxing!
Xoxox,
Beth WA