Proud of Myself

Well, I sit here on my couch on this Saturday morning after having a glorious 10.5 hours of sleep. Good sleep. Except the 20 minutes in the middle when I had a Charlie Horse.  This week was a perfect recipe for one. It was my first week back to school and it was super hot and we don’t have air conditioning. And I went back to the gym all three scheduled days for two classes per day. And I wore impractical shoes to school because it was too hot to wear socks and tennis shoes. I did drink lots of water but evidently not enough. Anyway, as you just read, I was back to my regular schedule at the gym and it felt great. I did miss Henry an awful lot but I always remind myself that this is for him and well as for myself. It makes me a better person, therefore a better mom. 

Real talk: I had a really rough summer and I gained 12 lbs total. I never gave up on myself and tried to move as much as possible but near the end of summer I was delving deeper and deeper into a depression. I was feeling really awful. I couldn’t cover it up like I had done in the past. So I reached out to my friend who is my doctor and she got me in immediately. She recommended that I definitely get a counselor and started me on Lexapro, an antidepressant. And man alive, after feeling the effects I realize I probably could’ve used this stuff years ago. The difference is huge but subtle. I know that doesn’t make sense but if you’ve taken one, it probably does. It doesn’t get rid of your problems or make you feel perfect but it changes you to feel less hopeless about things. And it is getting me off this couch that I am sitting on right now. 

My group at the gym had a back to basics start up on Monday and we are back to our support group meetings and I love that. I’ve continued to weigh in most of the last month but they were always gains. I am hoping this Monday I am back to losing. 

I have a lot to do at school but it’s just so damn hot. I will get in a groove in the next few weeks when it cools down but for now I am just surviving. 

Henry is finally starting to say lots of words and lots of jumble and it’s awesome. He is so hilarious and always trying to make us laugh. I love him so much. 

It’s a lot harder to get pictures of him at this stage! As you can see some of them are blurry. 
Hope everybody has a great weekend and I’ll be back to posting my weigh ins on Monday. Right now my total weight loss is at about 21. It’s disappointing from the 31 I was at but this shirt I bought from Walmart for 7 bucks is a good reminder to myself and sums up my philosophy of this journey. 

“Give up on giving up!”

Have a great weekend. 


Beth WA

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