the2beths

Well, as I’ve mentioned, I think, I haven’t been sleeping well. At all. It’s like I forget how to sleep. Well, Henry has been sleeping great until the last two nights. So between my lack of sleep and his lack of sleep, we were both SPENT today. So, at 1:00 we both went to sleep and we woke up at 4! It was such a refreshing sleep for me. My body really needed it. 

After we woke up, I put him in his stroller and we walked the 2.5 miles to my mom’s house. He loved it. We have to go on a few busy streets on the way over, and that is his favorite.  He loves seeing ambulances, police cars, and any car or truck really. He was really disappointed when we rode in the car home instead of the stroller. 

But, I was happy to get my 10,500 steps in. I recently raised my goal to 10,500 from 10,000. I actually did it on Friday then proceeded to not meet my goal Friday or Saturday. Womp womp. 

Tomorrow is weigh in day. I am looking forward to working out tomorrow. I haven’t been to the gym since Wednesday! Too long! 

Before we went to my mom’s, we watched Craig cut the grass. It was so beautiful out and I love this shot. 

And these are a few  I snapped before we both passed out. 

Tomorrow is my last Monday of the school year. 💃💃💃

Xoxoxox,

Beth WA

I didn’t go to the gym yesterday and I am not going today because we have a wedding. It’s not bad the best week in my health/fitness journey, but such is life, right?

Only 4 days of school this week, and two the next. I am ready. I need to get my house in order. I need to get rid of a lot of clothes.  I need to organize Henry’s clothes. And I need to clean out my kitchen and closets. Those are the ASAP things. There are so many more things to do. 😬
But, for now, I am going to try to make it to the end of school. Ha ha! 

My boyfriends. ❤️
Xoxox,

Beth WA

Today I went on a field trip with my 6th graders. We went to our local community college. It’s a great field trip to get the kids interested in college, especially those that have the potential to be first generation college graduates. Anyway, part of the trip is a walking tour of the campus. I remember vividly going last year feeling like I was going to die and looking for every possible chance to sit on my butt. I remember I forgot water and I was so thirsty. And I was so ashamed of my fatness that I didn’t eat pizza with the kids at lunch and was so hungry until I got back to school. 

This year it was completely different. I wore my tennis shoes knowing I’d be walking a lot. I was pumped to get all of my steps in because today is the day I don’t go to the gym. I walked quickly, keeping up with the group. I wasn’t sore at all. And I ate my pizza with dignity because I had planned for it in my day. 

Overall, aside from my exhaustion, it was a good day. I just cannot sleep lately and it is unnerving. I am hoping tonight is the night! It really helps me keep perspective when I sleep well. 

Well, speaking of, I am going to bed!  Well, I am in bed, but I am going to try to sleep. 

Here’s a pic of my cutie bug. 
Xoxoxox

Beth WA

Hooray! I wasn’t sure how weigh in was going to go because I was so hungry all week and ate a lot. 

Last night my husband and I went out for dinner which is why I didn’t get to post. Today is my husband’s birthday! So I took the day off and we are all going to hang out. ❤️
Have a great day! 

Xoxox,

Beth WA

I got a really good night’s sleep last night and I really needed it. I was so over tired because I have slept crappily all week, especially Thursday night. School is exhausting right now as we wrap up the year. And I’ve had trouble keeping up with house work. I know that people always say that’s ok, but I don’t like having a messy house. It makes me feel – I don’t know if anxious is the word- but I just don’t like it. I can’t quite relax the same as I can when my house is clean. Anyway, my lack of sleep combined with not making the best food choices has had me an anxious/overly sensitive mess. 

In other news, I have a big urge to paint rooms in my house and hang up pictures and decorate. I never really put effort into that but I am ready. We are going to redo our downstairs bathroom and get a new garage door this summer.  We are also going to paint our downstairs guest room.  This summer I also want to frame all of the pictures I have set aside to frame of Henry, and some family pictures. The next thing I want to do is get carpet in all of the bedrooms and our stairs, but that will have to wait until we save up. 

Another project I am working on this summer is getting on a budget Dave Ramsey style. We have a chunk of debt that we’ve had forever. It never seems to go down. So, I want to get that paid off so we can breathe a little easier. It will feel good to aggressively work on that. 

But for the next few hours, Henry and I are going continue to hang out in our pajamas and watch Bubble Guppies. 

Cheese!!

Hope you all have a glorious Saturday. ❤️

Xoxoxo,

Beth WA

Ugh. This has been a really long week. I kept thinking it was Friday all day, but no! 

I’ve been struggling to stay under 2200- 2400 calories as I move down weight wise, they decrease my calories in myfitnesspal.  That may seem like a lot to some people, but from somebody who was used to eating upwards of 3000-who knows per day, it’s an adjustment to get down to that for an extended period of time. So, I did some adjusting in myfitnesspal. I changed myself from lightly active to active. I believe this to be true. I spend about 7-9 hours in the gym working out each week and on my off days I am very active with Henry outside and inside. I rarely go a day that I don’t get 10,000 steps. So, by doing that, it upped my calories to a much more doable calorie range for me right now. I know eventually I will have to cut down but for now, I know that seems much more accurate/doable. And it is much less likely that I will binge. 

Speaking of that… 

135 days in a row! That means I’ve been binge free for about 135 days. I haven’t checked my calendar that I have the countdown, well count up, in. But that sounds about right. It doesn’t mean I’ve been perfect, or that I haven’t had free for all days. It means I haven’t had a binge, a bout of uncontrollable emotional eating followed by self loathing. 

I have been darn close. Real darn close. 

Tonight is a perfect example of a night I would binge. Henry is asleep early and my husband is out for the evening. But, instead I am going to have my tea and watch my DVR and play Mahjong on my laptop. That’s my relaxation at the end of a long day! 
Henry and I took a walk today and he held my hand almost the whole time. 

I melt. 

I truly savor these moments and use them as a time to say a prayer of Thanksgiving to God for giving me this blessing. I am always and forever grateful for Henry, and I am even grateful for the struggle it took to get there because I do not take one single moment for granted. (Even when he is mad at me and starts hitting me repeatedly with the meanest crinkle face!)

Okay. I am off to start my relaxing! 

Xoxox,

Beth WA

So, I played hookie from the gym. It was weigh in day, but that’s not why I skipped. I actually had a great weigh in this morning. 

I just wasn’t feeling it today and I really didn’t feel like leaving this cutie bug. 

And I am okay with it. Don’t get me wrong, I had the guilts and I definitely feel better when I go. But, for today, for me, this was the right choice. 

Part of me panics when I skip a work out and I worry I will slip into my old ways. But the other part of me knows that I just didn’t feel like going today. And that is okay. 

And I am glad I didn’t make the decision last night or I definitely would’ve eaten that lemon cake! 
So, now I have to make sure I have a big loss for next weeks weigh in since it will be two weeks worth!! Ha ha! 

Have a great night!

Xoxoxo

Beth WA

It’s taking everything in me not to go into my kitchen and eat the pieces of lemon bundt cake my mother in law sent home with us yesterday. 

That is all. 😬😋

Xoxoxo,

Beth WA

For so many years this day was so painful. It was just a big fat reminder that I couldn’t have a baby, and it seemed everybody else in the world had one. Facebook was torment. 

On the flip side, I have always had the most amazing mother to celebrate on this day, and in the last 10 years, I’ve had a wonderful mother in law, too. 

So, on this Mother’s Day when I walked into Henry’s room and was greeted with this: 

I am extra thankful for this blessing and will enjoy my day with my bug, but I will still have a part of my heart that will be with those who still have that ache and heartbreak. I will be praying for you and sending you faith, hope and love. 
Happy Mother’s Day.

❤️

Xoxoxox, Beth WA

Omg. It’s finally Friday.  I have taken 87,000+ steps in the last seven days! Whoa. And I’ve slept so great the last two nights.  Better than I have in ages. 

Today was a full day and I am so happy to be laying here, waiting for my bug to go to sleep and relaxing. Tomorrow is going to be a crazy kinda day, so I hope I get a good night’s sleep. 

After school I went to the two classes I normally take at the gym. I really pushed myself in body pump and it feels so good. When I got home I had leftovers for dinner and then Craig, Henry and I went for a short walk. I wanted to tire Henry out. 

We met our neighbors across the street for the first time. They are a couple about our age but they have 4 kids. We saw them with their 7 month old baby taking a walk. It was nice to finally meet them after all of these years. 

Ok, I am going to try to sneak out of here and go downstairs. 

Have a good Saturday. 

Xoxoxo

Beth WA